There’s this thought that somewhere we will “find” a passion, a purpose to our lives, something so inspiring and exciting that we never feel like we are working. Something that we are endlessly motivated to do. The belief that such passions exist causes many of us to feel dissatisfied with what we are doing, and to look for something that meets our idea of what a true passion is. Well meaning people tell us to “find our passion”. And to keep looking until we do. That can be bad advice. This article and associated research really reminded me of this: A major new study questions the common wisdom about how we should choose our careers.

This is one of those new age truthy sayings that is best ignored. No matter which path you choose there’ll be many times it is not exciting. And the excitement in the moment of any choice will fade over time. You cannot be excited 100% of the time. Even during war and surrounded by absolute fear and terror, people eventually adapted to it and found moments of calm and other feelings. I personally do not believe that there is only one right path for anyone. But the paths worth following will be ones that inspire you enough to keep going.

This saying is attributed to Henry Ford. It gets used to “motivate” people and to tell them that the way that they think affects how they can achieve their goals. While there is truth in it, it is not always true. There are many over-confident (and annoying) people in the world who think that they can do things that they are hopeless at. Just watch a reality TV contest. Politicians of any ideology often cling to policies and practises that have never worked and never will but somehow they seem certain that they can make them work “this time”. When I gave up my day job to focus on doing shows it was just going to be for a short while.

It is good to be busy. You can say that and no-one challenges you. But think about it. Don’t most people also crave a holiday? Isn’t it also okay to look forward to the weekend? Aren’t holidays and breaks also good? Being busy and productive go together only in short bursts. People who never take breaks are often less effective than those who work hard and take breaks when they need to. The sign of a person who has their act together is that they are well organised enough not to be busy all the time. And they can afford to take holidays.

Not everything you attempt can work. If you cannot work out when a plan is doomed to failure and just keep going, that is not the attitude of a winner, that is a symptom of mental illness. While it can take persistence to succeed, that must be balanced by re-evaluation of your approach and your goals. You need to keep learning. 20 years ago when selling services for my consulting practise, a client, Gerard Fitzgibbon was his name, told me of his three Ps of success. They were Persist, Persist, P-off. I have always valued that advice. Persistence is great, and one can even keep going when it gets hard.

Fake It Until You Make It* *The fine print Fake it until you make it is fine so long as you have the skills to deliver. Faking confidence when you are a bit nervous doing something you are able to do is usually fine. But if you fake a capability that you do not have - then you’re just being a fraud.

It is not hard to see that we mostly seem to attribute our successes to our cleverness and our own work, and our failures mostly to bad luck. Many people in positions of wealth and comfort do not acknowledge that there was any luck involved in their success. There is always luck involved. Lucky to be born into a circumstance where that success is possible. Lucky to be in a position to have that success etc. On the other side, most of our failures are also a bit or sometimes almost entirely of our own making. We can all see that more clearly in our friends and family than in ourselves.

If you can dream it, you can do it!* *The fine print Your dreams must be realistic or at least possible. At age 55 I can dream about competing in the Olympic mens gymnastics but realistically I’ll never do it. I can barely touch my toes. I’ve never been flexible or done any gymnastics. I can get better yes, but the world class athlete ship has sailed. The real world and the laws of nature still apply. My genetic potential remains the same, as does yours. So yes, have dreams, and act on the ones that inspire you and which are possible.

We don’t meet people by accident, they come into our lives for a reason* *The fine print We live in a chaotic uncaring universe where stuff happens all the time. Humans are hard wired to seek patterns and to find meaning even when there is none. We invent those “reasons”. Most of the people we meet leave no impression at all, we focus on the ones who leave a mark because they stand out. We meet so many people, of course some will impact on our lives. That doesn’t mean there is a reason for that, other than chance.